Sexual Health Tips ::
Sex Without Intercourse
Sex Without Intercourse
Tantra
Magazine
Kissing,
cuddling and touching are an important part of lovemaking and couples that run
their lives in this way use every opportunity to share such affection. The
slightest touch or pat can be worth a thousand words and a hug at just the right
time makes words redundant. Sometimes these little intimacies simply say, "I
love you", yet on other occasions it is clear they are preludes to some sort of
sexual activity. The couple in tune with each other know without saying, which
is which, and use such teasing, even perhaps to some level of arousal, as a sort
of work-up to intercourse later. In this article here we explore how you can
make love to your partner without physically having sex, yes men it can be done.
EXTENDED FOREPLAY
This kind of "lovemaking" then becomes like an extended foreplay both know will
end in lovemaking some time in the near future.
If you run
your intimate life in this way, lovemaking takes on a rather different level of
importance. It is now no longer the be-all and end-all of the intimacies you
share. This means that you will cope better with the ups and downs of your
sexual appetites and, mutually attuned, detect sexual interest early and know
how to act on it. Then, when you do have intercourse it is much more meaningful
because it takes place against a background of loving interest in one another.
Not only are
inequalities and variations in sexual appetite better coped with, but the
occasional failure, rather than becoming a disaster, is kept in perspective
because it is understood that the relationship has far more going for it than
whether or not genital contact is always good.
SECRETS
Lovers of longstanding sometimes find they communicate without words; they seem
to know what the other is thinking and feeling. Shared secrets help to make this
a secret society. The woman may whisper to her man while they are on the dance
floor, that she's wearing his favourite underwear, for example. "Accidentally"
touching your lover's body in a certain place or in a particular way can have a
devastating effect. Some couples can achieve the same impact with just a look.
Many couples
have a private language, that they use even in front of others, as they tell one
another about their feelings, arousal, or their anticipation of erotic things to
come, which all add to the excitement. All of this makes such a couple much less
likely to suffer from jealousies because they flirt with each other and look to
one another to answer their needs. They do not then see members of the opposite
sex as threatening because they know that what they have between them is vastly
more valuable than anything a quickie relationship could offer.
If all of
this seems nothing more than a fantasy to you, there are ways of improving
things: Start of by going back to courtship behaviour; many couples have never
really courted - taking every opportunity to show love in different ways. Give
one another presents for no reason. They don't have to be expensive; it's the
thought that matters; kiss more; telephone to say, "I love you." Leave
love-notes around where they'll be found by your lover; go out with one another
as if it were your first date as teenagers. Really try to please one another as
if you were just starting to date. You may be surprised how much you've taken
each other for granted over the years and how stale the caring and love for one
another has become.
It is
helpful in any loving relationship to remember to bear in mind the airline motto
"we never forget you have a choice". There are many couples that let things
slip, perhaps year after year, becoming more and more lazy and thoughtless only
to find when they go back to courtship they've all but forgotten how to deal
with one another in this way. As with so many things in life practice makes
perfect and over the weeks you'll become more proficient at courting one
another. With luck and effort, the combination of making courtship a priority,
and your increased experiences of life, will reap you a far richer harvest than
would have been possible when you were first going out at the beginning of your
relationship.
SENSUAL HOLIDAYS
One of the most fruitful ways of making all this happen is to organise sensual
holidays. A sensual holiday can last from an evening to a weekend. The main
purpose is to get away from your normal day-to-day routine both in and out of
bed and to really court one another.
You can
prepare for the holiday beforehand to get best out of it. Ideas include: the
uses of herbal aphrodisiacs such as ginseng, yohimbe; breakfast in bed; one
sensual massage; lovemaking in an unusual place; a novel type or position of
lovemaking you know your lover would like; or an evening devoted to your lover's
every whim. Each couple will have their own ideas as to what suits them, or
they've always wanted to do.
Send your
tokens some days before the holiday so your lover has time to prepare (if
necessary). This also helps build up excited anticipation for the holiday.
Remember, none of this need be expensive - the whole thing can take place at
home with perhaps a special dinner or outing just for the two of you. Whatever
you do and wherever you do it, the main thing is to give yourselves over to one
another totally and to aim to do things that please and delight. Talk about it
afterwards to see what worked well and what didn't. It's best to take it in
turns to arrange such holidays so each lover has the opportunity to call the
shots and decide what they want.
MASSAGE
Sensual massage is a wonderful way of lovemaking without intercourse. This form
of loving contact is often underestimated. There are few things a couple can
experience together that allow them to be more in touch with themselves, and to
communicate at every level than a loving, sensual massage. Whether or not this
becomes an erotic massage is up to you, but even if one does lead to the other
you still don't have to end up having intercourse - you could stimulate each
other or simply cuddle and kiss.
FULL BODY ALERT
Sight, sound, smell and taste are powerful aphrodisiacs - exploit them to the
full. Right from babyhood most of us use fewer of our senses than we might. In
learning to please one another without intercourse it can be helpful to look at
how each sense could be better used to serve lovemaking. Here are some ideas:
THE POWER OF AROMA
Use perfume, perfumed soaps, scented oils for massage, burning joss sticks,
flowers, room perfumes, and anything else (not all at once!) that helps enhance
your sense of smell. Remember, if you perfume yourself too heavily you'll mask
the natural odours that are such a turn-on for your lover. Make sure you are
clean and washed but not so squeaky clean your natural smells are obliterated.
Learn, perhaps for the first time, how each part of your lover's body smells.
SOUND EFFECTS
The lover's sound can be delicious as you make love. The little groans, sighs
and moans that say "I love you" are all valuable cues to how things are going.
With the lights off, learn to recognise how your lover's sexual arousal cycle is
progressing just by sound alone. Take a delight in the sounds of your bodies
reacting with each other. Use beautiful music to accompany lovemaking.
ACQUIRING THE TASTE
Get to know how your lover tastes by licking all over. Taste mouths, faces,
sweat, genital secretions and so on. This is intimately tied up with the
smelling exercise since taste and smell are so closely interlinked. Experiment
with all kinds of tactile sensations using not only your bodies, but also foods,
clothing, vibrators and so on.
Feature related articles:
Last Long Enough?
A very common sexual concern among men is whether they orgasm to quickly. Of
course, part of the answer to that question is very personal - many women prefer
not to have multiple hour sessions as these leave them sore and swollen.
Better Oral Sex
We like to think that a woman is born knowing how to give great oral sex. We
think that they must take notes while watching porn movies. This isn't always
the case. In this article we will give you suggestions on how to improve her
oral sex skills.
Basic Sex Positions
There is no right or wrong way to enjoy sexual intercourse with your partner. If
you are both having a good time, it's right for you. That is what should be the
important deciding factor. The entire reason we have sex is to experience
pleasure with our partners, as long as both parties are having a good time, you
are doing everything right
Blowjobs
First I will say this, I know there are a lot of women out there who don.t like
giving or receiving oral sex. I understand that you may think that it is dirty
or like in an Asian country some women have stopped as they think it is an evil
sin.
Female Oral Sex
Being licked feels wonderful to women. There are a few women who don't find it
pleasant, but most women just love it - if you do it right! The problem here is
that according to women, a lot of men don't know how to give a woman pleasure
through oral - so strap on your safety belts - as we tell you what women really
like.
